For many years now I have avoided facebook. Between their privacy violations, intrusiveness, and how damaging it can be to one’s career, let alone relationships with all the drama inherent in its design… I felt it was just easier to not. Then came Daniel. He expressed frustration at how difficult it was to share things with me, especially silly things his family have done.
As Daniel, right now, seems to be pretty awesome and might be a long term thing, I bit the bullet and signed up. I made sure to make things as generic or locked down as possible. Because of how he wanted to keep us being a couple quiet from his family, I initially signed up under my Hebrew name. I managed to screw up doing that, and eagerly waited out the 60 days to fix it. By the time that happened, I had a few connections, posted a wee bit, and decided to fuck it, we can do it under my real name.
Today is a friend’s bday. I’m seeing a TON of well wishes and facebook created videos and such. Recently, a family member of Daniel’s posted about how this was their first bday alone and how their friends stepped up making them not feel alone or lonely. Facebook, for whatever reason, did nothing to recognize my birthday. If it automatically creates things for others, why not mine? Why did my friends not do anything? (Daniel did something awesome, just not on facebook.)
All this then jumped into another thought. I’ve spent many birthdays – and holidays, and time in general – alone. It isn’t something that bothers me much when it is general, but it does for special days. I can’t imagine never having had spent holidays or birthdays alone. It really makes me wonder how much of that is culture, since I came to the Jewish thing late. Goodness knows that if I really wanted to, I wouldn’t have a moment alone again. But it is really hard for me to reach out, to ask.
There isn’t a neat conclusion to all this speculation. Just random thoughts that spin through my head.